urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543 I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then atg543 2009-12-11T04:21:32Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:24461 2009-12-11T04:21:32Z 2009-12-11T04:21:32Z Fairytale - Sara Bareilles I really need to learn how to RELAX and stop reading too much into things. After he-who-must-not-be-named, I have some sort of crazy complex. How do I fix myself? I know I'm doing it, but I still do it - or I'll be good for a few days, and then I'm back to being a CRAZY girl. I really do need to focus on fixing MYSELF before I can worry about trying to fix some else to fit this version of myself. This all sounds so good, I just hope I can remember it when I'm in the middle of a situation and not just after. Sigh. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:24179 2009-09-21T21:30:31Z 2009-09-21T21:30:31Z <p>Haven't posted in a while. Only coming on here to vent for a second. I really really really HATE it when people are loud in quiet setting. Clearing your throat over and over in a quiet setting is NASTY and fucking ANNOYING. I'm sorry, but it really is. Just leave. Also, there is a place to use your cell phone, and it's not where everyone is studying or reading. Sorry. People who are just stupidly oblivious to others make me want to SCREAM.</p><p><em><small>Posted via <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/cosysoftware_en/">LiveJournal.app</a>.</small></em></p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:24028 2009-07-15T00:16:32Z 2009-07-15T00:16:32Z Under the Sea - The Little Mermaid (Yes, really) <strong>&nbsp;http://oceana.org/north-america/</strong><br /><br />Everyone who knows me knows that I LOVE the ocean and everything in it. That's why I want to be active in protecting it. The ocean supports ALL life on this planet in some form. I just found out about this website, Oceana, and they are really doing a lot to help save our oceans before we destroy them. Take a minute, check it out!&nbsp;<br /><br /><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/000162bb/"><img width="320" height="240" border="0" alt="" src="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/000162bb/s320x240" /></a>&nbsp;(Picture by my friend Joey!)<br type="_moz" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:23550 2009-05-23T00:55:51Z 2009-05-23T00:55:51Z Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before?<br />Um, probably. But we've never gotten in a fight or anything.<br /><br />How much money did you spend today?<br />Enough to buy a movie ticket.<br /><br />Have you ever cried while in the shower?<br />Yes<br /><br />Do you know anyone that smokes pot?<br />Yes<br /><br />How do you feel about your hair right now?<br />I'm actually happy with my hair, although it could be longer.<br /><br />When is the last time you ever slept in the same bed as your friend?<br />Umm...I think with Chels<br /><br />Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?<br />YES.<br /><br />Do you know anyone with the same name as you?<br />A lot!<br /><br />Last person you talked on the phone with?<br />Abigail<br /><br />What are you looking forward to right now?<br />Moving out, Grace visiting, Honduras, Nat's wedding, Jason's baby<br /><br />Do you miss someone?<br />I think everyone is always missing someone.<br /><br />If you could go back in time and change something, would you?<br />Yes, who wouldn't?<br /><br />What did you do today?<br />Went and saw where I am going to be living! And then went to the movies with my sister.<br /><br />Where will you be 5 hours from now?<br />Je ne sais pas<br /><br />Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it back?<br />Books<br /><br />Have you ever ran away?<br />I've thought about it when I was younger<br /><br />Do you wish someone would turn up at your front door right now?<br />Yes<br /><br />Do you want any children?<br />YES!!!! Six!<br /><br />What was the last thing you laughed about?<br />Night at the Museum<br /><br />Would you ever get your nipples pierced?<br />They already are ... not. <br /><br />Is there something you're happy about at the moment?<br />Summer!<br /><br />Did you sleep alone last night?<br />Yes<br /><br />What were you doing at 8 this morning?<br />Sleeping<br /><br />How many piercings do you have?<br />Two in each ear<br /><br />Have you seen any of the Saw movies?<br />All of them - I'm a scary movie junkie<br /><br />Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?<br />I don't think I've met that person yet<br /><br />What are you listening to right now?<br />True Life: I'm schitz<br /><br />If alcohol would end forever, what would be your reaction?<br />Boo.<br /><br />Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?<br />Haha, always.<br /><br />Do you have an older brother?<br />Nope.<br /><br />Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don't talk to now?<br />Yes. <br /><br />ABC's of Me<br /><br />A - Age: 18<br /><br />B - Bed size: California King<br /><br />C - Chore you hate: Washing dishes<br /><br />D - Dog's name: Gracie, Bruce, Ashley, Dakota<br /><br />E - Essential start your day item: Phone, it's my alarm clock<br /><br />F - Favorite color: Pink/Red<br /><br />G - Gold or Silver: Silver<br /><br />H - Height: 5'6<br /><br />I - Instruments you play(ed): Piano, Violin, Flute - sucked at all of them<br /><br />J - Job Title : Currently unemployed<br /><br />K - Kid(s): I want 6<br /><br />L - Last movie seen: Night at the Museum <br /><br />M - Mom's name: CeCe<br /><br />N - Nicknames: Bubbles, Al, Age<br /><br />O - Overnight Hospital stays: Mono<br /><br />P - Pet Peeve: When people dog ear my books and when people smack<br /><br />Q - Quote from a movie: "I still believe in paradise. But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for, 'cause it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're a part of something, and if you find that moment... it lasts forever..." - The Beach<br /><br />R - Right or Left Handed: Right<br /><br />S - Scared of: Spiders, shower curtains, skittles <br /><br />T - Time you wake up: 10:30ish in the summer if I don't have anything to do<br /><br />U - Under the water or Up in the air: UNDER THE WATER<br /><br />V - Vegetable(s) you dislike: I like most vegetables.<br /><br />W - Ways (Reasons) you run late: I'm usually on time<br /><br />X - X-rays you've had: When I broke my collar bone <br /><br />Y - Yummy food you make: I can awesome rice crispie treats <br /><br />Z - Zoo favorites: I like aquariums better but I guess the tigers<br /><br />Who was the last person you hugged and why?<br />My Nanny because I was saying goodbye<br /><br />How late did you stay up last night?<br />12ish<br /><br />Do you sleep with the door open or closed?<br />Closed usually <br /><br />Are you wearing socks?<br />Nope<br /><br />Who do you go to when you need to talk about something important?<br />Abigail, Laura, Chelsea, Jacob, or Elise<br /><br />Ever stayed up all night on the phone?<br />Yes.<br /><br />Will this Friday be a good one?<br />It's looking a little boring so far...<br /><br />Do you find yourself funny?<br />I mean...sure<br /><br />Last reason you cried?<br />My friend left for Afghanistan :o(<br /><br />What woke you up this morning?<br />Abigail<br /><br />Could you go for a chicken sandwich & some waffle fries?<br />I just ate a taco, so no.<br /><br />Is anyone falling for you?<br />Who knows<br /><br />Who was the last contact you stored into your cell phone?<br />Sara Milam, my new roomie!<br /><br />Is this the best year of your life?<br />It's hardly started - who knows?<br /><br />Have you ever cried from being so mad?<br />YES!<br /><br />Do you believe that you can change for someone?<br />Yes, if YOU truly want to.<br /><br />Has anyone upset you in the last week?<br />Yeah.<br /><br />Are you sarcastic?<br />HA!<br /><br />When will your next kiss be?<br />Don't know.<br /><br />How was your day?<br />Good!<br /><br />Are you outgoing or more reserved?<br />I can be both<br /><br />Do you think the opposite sex is confusing?<br />Um, duh.<br /><br />Are you talking to anyone?<br />Difficult to answer.<br /><br />What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone?<br />HAHAHAHA. Don't talk to me about phones.<br /><br />What are your plans for next month?<br />Travel, travel, travel.<br /><br />Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up?<br />Ew, yeah.<br /><br />Would you go out in public right this moment?<br />Yeah.<br /><br />Have your parents ever told you that you couldn't hang out with a certain someone?<br />In round about ways.<br /><br />Did you go to sleep happy last night?<br />Yeah.<br /><br />Do you continue fighting in an argument even though you're wrong?<br />Yes<br /><br />Has anyone told you a secret lately that you aren't allowed to tell anyone?<br />Yes<br /><br />Do you have feelings for anyone?<br />Sort of. Is that a cop out?<br /><br />Have you ever ridden a horse?<br />Most of my life.<br /><br />Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't?<br />Yes.<br /><br />Do you think you are a good person?<br />I try to be.<br /><br />What's the weather like?<br />Rainy<br /><br />Is there someone on your mind that shouldnt be?<br />Always.<br /><br />Do you like cuddling?<br />Actually, not really.<br /><br />Do you like country music?<br />YES!<br /><br />Are looks important?<br />Somewhat.<br /><br />Are your parents still together?<br />I consider my step dad to be my parent too, so yes.<br /><br />Do you get distracted easily?<br />Yes!<br /><br />Any plans for this weekend?<br />Packing<br /><br />Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now?<br />Leonardo DiCaprio or Chris Pine<br /><br />Are there certain things that can't be joked about with you?<br />Yeah.<br /><br />Your favorite thing to drink on a hot summer day?<br />Water I guess<br /><br />Who was the last person or people you ate with?<br />My mommy<br /><br />Do you like meeting new people?<br />Always<br /><br />Are you a loud person?<br />Depends on what situation I'm in<br /><br />Who was your last missed call?<br />Abigail<br /><br />Is it easier to forgive or forget?<br />Forgive, hands down.<br /><br />Where is your phone?<br />Right here.<br /><br />Is the last person you hugged older than you?<br />Yeah.<br /><br />Do you care if people hate you for no reason?<br />Not really.<br /><br />Do you prefer sour or sweet candy?<br />Put those two together!<br /><br />Would you ever get a tattoo?<br />I have one!<br /><br />Are you afraid of losing the person you fell hardest for?<br />Already lost.<br /><br />What's 1 thing you do when you're mad?<br />Shut myself off or say things I don't mean.<br /><br />Would you forgive a friend for telling your biggest secret?<br />Maybe.<br /><br />Are you dating the person you text most?<br />Nope.<br /><br /><br />Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?<br />Honduras<br /><br />Last person who told you things were going to be okay?<br />Elise<br /><br />What's something you really want right now, be truthful?<br />Something to do besides this.<br /><br />Where were you at midnight last night?<br />In my bed<br /><br />Have you lost a best friend in the past year?<br />Yes.<br /><br />Are you texting anybody?<br />Yeah, a few.<br /><br />Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?<br />Yes -- that never works out.<br /><br />Do you sometimes wonder what the world would be like without you?<br />Emo<br /><br />How's your heart lately?<br />Keeping on<br /><br />How long have you been best friends with your current best friend?<br />1st grade/7th grade<br /><br />Last beverage you had?<br />Water<br /><br />What are you doing right now?<br />Wasting time<br /><br />Which do you prefer: coffee or tea?<br />Depends.<br /><br />Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?<br />Before<br /><br />Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?<br />Yes<br /><br />Have you ever thought about your death?<br />I think everyone does.<br /><br />Ever been in love?<br />Yes.<br /><br />Have you ever had stitches?<br />On my knee<br /><br />Have you ever run over an animal?<br />Eek, yes. A squirrel.<br /><br />Where's your favorite place to be?<br />By the ocean<br /><br />Do you like the town you are living in?<br />I love Lafayette. <br /><br />Do you get mad or get even?<br />Always mad, maybe even. <br /><br />Would you rather your partner have gorgeous eyes or a gorgeous smile?<br />Smile<br /><br />Something you're looking forward to next month?<br />Lots of things!<br /><br />Do you believe that you can change someone?<br />No<br /><br />Are you allowed to eat meals in the living room?<br />Yeah.<br /><br />How many people could fit comfortably to sleep in the room you're in?<br />About 5, maybe more.<br /><br />Do you always have an ice cube in your drink?<br />Nope.<br /><br />Does the last person you spoke to have any siblings?<br />Yeah<br /><br />What's the best food for sleepovers?<br />Chips and salsa<br /><br />Have you read all the books on your bookshelf?<br />Almost all.<br /><br />Harry Potter or Twilight?<br />Twilight, but only because it has the romance.<br /><br />How far can you run without breaking a sweat?<br />I've never calculated that<br /><br />After swimming, do you just strip or go into a change room?<br />Do people really just strip?<br /><br />Would you rather date an older man/woman, or a younger one?<br />Older<br /><br />Does your mom swear?<br />Haha rarely <br /><br />Do you know anyone who has road rage?<br />Laura<br /><br />When did you last shave?<br />Two days ago<br /><br />Do you know what you want to do with your life?<br />Eh.<br /><br />Do you listen to your heart?<br />Sometimes.<br /><br />Do you ever pull out your eyelashes?<br />Yes when I'm trying to get my mascara off.<br /><br />If there was a movie based on your life, who would you want to play you?<br />I don't know, but Leo can play my love interest!<br /><br />Have you ever drank alcohol?<br />;o)<br /><br />Do you like to read?<br />YES. I absolutely love to read. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:23152 2009-05-07T20:44:56Z 2009-05-07T20:44:56Z All Summer Long - Kid Rock I took my accounting exam this morning. I'm still waiting to get the results, but I think I did OK. Well, I'm hoping I did OK-enough. I really really really don't want to take that class again. I will cry if I find out I have to. So, Fates, if you are listening, help a girl out? My economics exam is tomorrow - then I am D.O.N.E. Thank the lord. I leave for North Carolina tomorrow night, so I'm excited about that. It will be a fun start to summer! :o) <br /><br />Abigail and I have been looking for places to live, and nothing has seemed to work out yet. I HAVE to move out for next semester because I am really ready to be on my own. Plus, my house, although amazing, is pretty far away from everything, which gets annoying. So if I can't find anything with Abigail that we can both afford, I will probably move in with Chelsea, which will be fun. Either way, I will be moving out - be it with Abigail or Chelsea! Exciting stuff, right?<br /><br />Okay, the sunshine is calling me! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:22874 2009-05-07T20:30:02Z 2009-05-07T20:30:02Z Come on Get Higher - Matt Nathanson <a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/000150at/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/000150at/s320x240" width="148" height="240" border="0" /></a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:22532 2009-05-04T15:53:06Z 2009-05-04T15:53:06Z <a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/000142dp/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/000142dp/s320x240" width="320" height="213" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Saw this Post Secret and really liked it, so I thought I'd share. <br /><br />Woke up this morning at 8. My exam started at 8. THANK GOD she still let me take it. Stressful start to exams. Here's to hoping they go better from now on! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:22344 2009-05-03T00:30:51Z 2009-05-03T00:30:51Z Second Chance - Shinedown Spent the whole day doing a whole lot of nothing. Laid by the pool for a couple hours, watched a movie, wasted an embarrassing amount of time on facebook. Good day I guess, if not incredibly unoriginal and boring. I really shouldn't complain, considering I chose to spend my time that way, even though my whole body was aching to get up and do something. There's that sneaky little word again - "something." It's so annoying, because by definition, something could be anything. So because I am burdened with so many choices, I choose to do nothing. Ah, now that there sounds American. Okay, okay, this isn't a social commentary. I'm just thinking, what is it going to take for me to start DOING all the somethings that I am THINKING. Instead of blogging on and on about doing something, I should be do that exact something. whew - I think I just confused myself. I think I'm just freaking out because it's the end of my freshmen year in college, and it went by SO FAST, and I have NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING. Typical of college students, I know. But I don't like it. At all. I don't want to wake up in three years, or worse, 10, 20, or 30, and think. Oops. Can I have a redo? Hmm...okay, too much thinking for my lazy day. Life is life. What I get out of it...Is what I get out of it. As the cheshire cat told Alice, if you don't know where you want to go, it doesn't matter which road you take. You'll always get somewhere. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:21992 2009-03-12T03:07:40Z 2009-03-12T03:07:40Z Hurricane - Something Corporate I miss him.<br /><br /><br />And I HATE myself for it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:21706 2009-03-07T00:44:42Z 2009-03-07T00:44:42Z I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy Some people are IDIOTS. That is all. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:21324 2009-01-27T00:43:57Z 2009-01-27T00:43:57Z Hot N Cold - Katy Perry Everyone knows that I love Leonardo DiCaprio. But after seeing Revolutionary Road last night and reading her In Style magazine article, I love Kate Winslet too! She is such an amazing woman. Gorgeous. Very inspiring. Talented. Strong. I really have started to look up to her. I would love to be the woman that she is, with a level head and a happy heart. <br /><br />"You have to have the balls to do thing. You might have the tools and the skills but if you haven't got the guts to step up to the plate then you just can't do it." <br /><br /><br /><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/00010e7a/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/00010e7a/s320x240" width="240" height="240" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />“Life is short, and it is here to be lived.”<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/00011erq/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/00011erq/s320x240" width="240" height="240" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />“Loving someone is setting them free, letting them go.”<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/00012qw0/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/00012qw0/s320x240" width="240" height="240" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />“I wouldn't dream of working on something that didn't make my gut rumble and my heart want to explode.”<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/000130zr/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/000130zr/s320x240" width="240" height="240" border="0" /></a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:21120 2009-01-22T00:17:13Z 2009-01-22T00:17:13Z <a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/0000zkp8/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/0000zkp8/s320x240" width="170" height="240" border="0" /></a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:20866 2009-01-22T00:14:45Z 2009-01-22T00:14:45Z Watching 20/20 Today is Bridget's 18th Birthday, so we are all going out to the Keg to celebrate. Me and Abigail have school tomorrow, so there will be no craziness from us, but we will enjoy watching Bridget get schwasted! 18th birthdays are always epic. I'll give details later.<br /><br />Not much else has been going on. I've just been going to class, applying for jobs. Hopefully I get something soon. School is good, I'm very happy. The only class I loathe with the fire of hell is Calculus, and that's because I could teach it. Plus, the teacher is just unbelievably BORING. Seriously, he could put a room full of insomniacs asleep within one class period. But, all in all, I like ULL.<br /><br />On a sucky note: the apartment me and Abigail wanted has been leased. Very much a bummer. Oh well, hopefully something else will come along soon.<br /><br />Ta-ta for now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:20460 2009-01-13T05:02:24Z 2009-01-13T05:02:24Z Watching Vacancy I know, my title is oh so poetic. I'm just so super bored, it's not even funny. I know in a week I will want to take this back, but I am actually more than ready for school to start just so I'll have something to do. Really. I need to stop sleeping all day and then doing nothing or maybe every once in a while going out. I'm BOREDDDD. Hopefully that will end soon. School starts on Wednesday, and I've been applying for jobs, so hopefully something comes of that. <br /><br />In other news, Grace is coming in for Mardi Gras. YAY! It will be very fun -- I can't wait! Also, Bridget's 18th birthday is next Wednesday, so Keg night! Exciting things! I'm also thinking about flying up to Elon for Leela's play, but idk, we shall have to see. <br /><br />Right now, I am so sick of reading books, watching TV, and messing around on the computer. There is only so much a girl can take. I need to DO SOMETHING. <br /><br />But, until something presents itself, I'm going to read a book, watch TV, or mess around on the computer. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:20188 2009-01-11T22:48:08Z 2009-01-11T22:48:08Z Gimme More - Britney Spears <div class='appwidget appwidget-qotd' id='LJWidget_42'> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td><div style='border: 1px solid #000; padding: 6px;'><p>Using one word for each letter of the alphabet, make a list of the words you most associate with yourself or that you feel best describe you.</p><p style='font-size: 0.8em;'>Submitted By <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_mesila' lj:user='mesila' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://mesila.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://mesila.livejournal.com/'><b>mesila</b></a></span><br /></p><br /><p><input type="button" value="Answer" onclick="document.location.href='http://www.livejournal.com/update.bml?qotd=734'" /> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/misc/latestqotd.bml?qid=734">View 504 Answers</a></p></div></td></tr></table></div><!-- end .appwidget-qotd --> <br /><br />A: Alex (Haha, I know, I'm so clever)<br />B: Beautiful (When I'm having a good day)<br />C: Creative<br />D: Dairy lover?<br />E: Exciting<br />F: Friendly (With my friends)<br />G: Generous<br />H: Happy (When I'm not mad/sad/angry/tired/etc)<br />I:<br /><br />Okay, I'm already bored with this. Later. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:19716 2009-01-11T22:39:43Z 2009-01-11T22:39:43Z <a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/0000yh7q/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/atg543/pic/0000yh7q/s320x240" width="320" height="201" border="0" /></a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:19502 2009-01-10T02:01:31Z 2009-01-10T02:01:31Z Just a Little Girl - Stephen Speaks I wish all of my thoughts could just flow from my brain onto this page. Instead, I have to sort through them and some how relay them through my fingers. I bet something always gets lost in the translation. I had a good New Years - I went to Laura's house with a group of girls and drank a good bottle of wine. Since then, much has happened, and at the same time, I feel as if nothing has changed at all. I hate how life always comes down at once. But, I guess the bad is what makes the good so good, or however that saying goes. Two nights ago, I thought a girl that I was driving to and from the Keg had disappeared. I searched until 4:30 in the morning, to no avail. I talked to the cops, I went to other bars and restaurants, and the bouncer from the Keg helped me search some nearby apartments. Beth and Abigail, who were with me, never fully grasped the severity of the situation. Laura did, I think. Of course, they were drunk, so I can't really say a lot. But, it was a little frustrating dealing with Beth. Even if I was drunk, I would be able to take the fact that my friend was missing seriously. Anyway...I can't remember the last time I actually prayed before then, but I prayed that night for her. She called the next morning from some guys house, alive, but not remembering anything about what happened. I know she was drugged. There is no other explanation. I know it's not my fault just because I was DD, but I can't help but feel somewhat responsible. I should have watched them all more closely. The night could have turned out to be much, much worse. I don't even want to think about that. That night will haunt me for a while, no doubt. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:19211 2008-12-26T00:31:29Z 2008-12-26T00:31:29Z Hm, it's been a while since I've written. A heck of a lot has changed. Firstly, I am no longer a student at Elon. That's right, I'm a Rajun Cajun. Why'd I make that decision? Many reasons, but mostly I just missed home. I love my suite back at Elon, but I felt so...bored - like I was getting nothing done there. I wasn't happy. Hopefully coming home will help me find whatever it is I'm looking for. I'm going into management at UL, hoping for a career in event/wedding planning. I still have a while to go in school, so we'll see what actually ends up happening.<br /><br />As you can see by the date, today is Christmas. I was supposed to go to Baton Rouge to see my dad, but he uninvited me. Awesome, right? I think I still might be going to see him tomorrow still, but honestly I would rather not. I'm really just fucking sick of him acting like this all the time. The world DOES NOT revolve around him, and he doesn't care that what he does hurts me. But he'll never change. That's a fact I just have to accept.<br /><br />There are other things going on right now too, with friends and just life in general. But honestly, I'm not in the mood.<br /><br />I just want 2009 to come, so I can start over. I just need the feeling of a new year. <br /><br />So Merry Christmas y'all. Hope everyone had a good day. And here's to a wonderful New Year. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:19110 2008-11-30T02:10:34Z 2008-11-30T02:10:34Z Always Midnight - Pat Monaghan There's so much to say, and not very many ways to say them. But it's always midnight. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:18809 2008-11-24T13:50:52Z 2009-05-06T01:04:28Z Lecture Christian: Weird...<br />Me: What's weird?<br />Christian: That whole thing<br />Me: Our conversation?<br />Christian:Yeah<br />Me: Mm yeah a little<br />Christian: Dammit I knew that was a terrible question<br />Me: No, I'm honestly glad you brought it up<br />Christian: Why?<br />Me: Because until now I've had to deal with the entire situation myself<br />Christian: I'm sorry<br />Me: It's okay<br /><br /><br />I'll explain what happened later - I just had to get that down. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:18537 2008-11-24T00:53:20Z 2008-11-24T00:53:20Z I can't Steal You - Matthew Ryan "Because I've learned that being happy is sometimes a conscious decision, and by deciding to move forward, you're choosing to find another happiness, a better happiness." - Laura Williamson urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:18371 2008-11-24T00:51:01Z 2009-05-06T01:03:35Z I Can't Steal You - Matthew Ryan Laura: Okay i am going to say something here that I know you don't want to hear, and I know you are going to tell me that you can't do it because he's your friend and everything, but you are going to do this because you need to do it for yourself. You have got to stop talking to him. I really, really mean it. You need to do this for you, because he is not making you happy, he's just keeping you attached to something that isn't going to happen, and he's holding you back from other things. He messes with your head and he has no right to do that, at all. You need someone who is going to be there for you whenever you need them, not someone who is going to randomly pop into your life and tell you what to do and how to do it, because he has absolutely no right to do that, and most of all, he doesn't deserve the right to do that. And I know that even thinking about stopping talking to him is breaking your heart but is staying in this situation making you happy? Because at the end of the day, you are going to be in a relationship with yourself for a hell of alot longer than you'll be in a friendship/relationship with him, and it's your relationship with yourself that needs to be the strongest. I need you to promise me that you will get out after the wedding, and that you will give yourself the chance to fall for someone else, someone who deserves your love and who will make you the center of their universe. Okay. And I know it's going to be hard, but when you need to cry the entire night through, or you need a damn big bottle of vodka, or you just need someone to be standing beside you, I will be there. But I know you, and you will get through it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:17955 2008-10-28T04:37:51Z 2009-05-06T01:04:05Z Fire - Augustana I hate that I still talk about him. I can't stand that he's on my mind half the time. I hate that I make myself seem so pathetic. I wish he was just a memory...someone I used to know. I wish that I didn't still hope that this wedding will be called off. I wish that he was only a single shooting star in my night, something simple and beautiful and quick, shining for an instant before disappearing brilliantly. But he's a constellation in my sky, taking about so much of it and shining so fiercely that I can't even see the sun anymore. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:17786 2008-10-22T00:20:54Z 2008-10-22T00:20:54Z Extraordinary - Mandy Moore I'm lucky to be at Elon - I am not naive to that. I know that there are thousands of people who would do anything for what I am taking for granted. But I can't help but feel like this isn't my life. Every time I go back home, things fall so easily back into place. I'm happy at home. I'm not sitting around Elon doing nothing - I'm not digging myself a depressed little pity party six feet under. I have some great friends at school, really - I couldn't ask for better people. But I love the people I have in Louisiana. I miss them. They, whether they know it or not, make me who I am. I think when I was younger, I set myself on a path to go to a school like Elon. But I changed over the years. However, I didn't change the plan. So I'm stuck on the fast track to something I no longer want for myself. Ugh...there's so much I want to say, but I can't quite get the words right. All I keep managing is, "I want to go home." But it's so much more than that. So much more. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:atg543:17632 2008-10-17T13:05:56Z 2008-10-17T13:05:56Z Blah Ek. It's rainy and dark outside and freezing inside. I'm MORE than ready to go home, but unfortunately I have to sit through Anthropology and Spanish first. Even more Ek. I wish I was one of those people who can sleep on planes, because than I could just zonk out and wake-up in Louisiana. Ah, how nice that would be. I'm ready for a long bath and a warm, soft bed. Mm...a cup of hot chocolate would be good too. And my cat...Ah, get me home now!